So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
