He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
