can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
