I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
