That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
