Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think my moral compass just broke
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
