My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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