Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
