Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
