what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
