actually, I'm a sock model
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
