I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize