i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
