You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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