i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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