Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize