i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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