I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
