theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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