just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
