don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
