so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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