i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
