So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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