I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
