Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
