shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize