If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
