Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize