omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
