My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
foreskin is a definite game changer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
