between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize