My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dick very happy bro
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
