it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
