i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
