If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
