You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just found puke in my bra..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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