I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I will die if light touches me.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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