You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
