I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
