I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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