I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
