I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
