Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
