You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
