can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
