found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
