she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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