Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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