jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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