My nipple is on Facebook.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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