Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

we have pet lesbian snakes

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(606): View more from Kentucky

All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers

Fav 14 4073 1521
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(716): View more from New York

he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates

Fav 3 1308 2668
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(817): View more from Texas

I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

Fav 4 2186 1537
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(907): View more from Alaska

I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.

Fav 8 1459 757
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(404): View more from Georgia

I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?

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(206): View more from Washington

sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?

Fav 6 1341 679
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(716): View more from New York

I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag

Fav 0 67 13
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(248): View more from Michigan

I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect

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