Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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