She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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