Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
