I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
