Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
