Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
