It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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