he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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