so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
