I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
