I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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