i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
